An ode to motherhood

I honestly couldn’t imagine anything growing inside me for nine months and saying “I love you” to it when it came out. I feel like my first words after pregnancy would be “kill it,kill it with fire!” And I think this might be a commonly shared sentiment amongst us dads. I mean being a woman would be cool (free breast action) but I am gonna pass on the whole loving a little alien that took over my hormones and body for nine months thing and leave that to you ladies.

Motherhood is awesome. It’s a bond that no one can truly understand and I’m sure that it runs much deeper than I would ever begin to grasp. I respect the hell out of that! A mother and her child have an irreplaceable, irrevocable bond that is both beautiful and mystifying to me. That’s totally cool and it’s something I myself will never feel. A whole level of love and compassion that has been specially reserved for mother and child.

I’m not trying to take away from dads. I am Punk Rock Papa! My kids are my world! I take pride in fatherhood and raising the next generation of individuals who question authority and challenge conformity. But I didn’t grow them inside me! I enjoyed rolling my eyes at a screaming wife (I mean patiently listening you delicate flower you) and going to grab a beer and my charger to retreat to the Porcelein Throne.

That’s another thing! Anytime pregnancy got tough for me, I went out for a smoke and a beer. Pregnant women can’t toss their swollen feet up, crack a forty and call it an afternoon. I mean be honest, that really kind of blows! Sobriety isn’t bad, but I am sure it kinda sucks with a parasite growing inside you sucking up your nutrients and punching your bladder like they are training to fight Apollo Creed. Nope anything that makes me feel miserable is usually going to be buried under alcohol and nicotine.

So there it is, a bit of insight into why #MamaMonday is a big deal to me! It’s really about being super glad not to be in your fuckin shoes! I’ll forever be in awe and appreciation of what you do…from a distance of course. So Mama’s out there as you grit your teeth and plot the accident that will happen to the man who got you pregnant just know I think you are kick ass for your ability to go through pregnancy without control of your body, control of your hormones and mainly without some alcohol!
Stay classy!

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