I originally posed the question on Facebook. How do you react when your child is bullying? In a month filled with bullying awareness and compassion, I have yet to see anyone touch on this subject. There are hundreds of posts about standing up to bullying, yet none of these people were ever bullies? Something seems off here… No one has a kid that is a bully? No one was a bully at one point in their life?
What was clearly established as I surfed around looking for answers was that bullying is a trait, passed down from parent to child, and the best way to handle it was with violence. I promptly punched my boss in the face then punched his mother in the face for making her son such a dick. Bullying solved, bullying staying solve.
We automatically assume that there are just family trees of bullies. I mean, O’DOYLE RULES! Right? The problem must begin at home, the kid must be learning how to bully from his parents. Parents of children who are labeled a problem child sit there decrying the unfair treatment they receive over their son’s public tantrum, only to spend the same breath accusing the family of a bully of being bad people.
With this logic, victims of bullying are part of a long line of victims who have no idea how to stand up for themselves and are a prey to the big bad wolf.
I would like to apologize if my opinion is unpopular, that just seems to be the weakest cop-out I may have ever heard. You ask not to be judged, you say you give your child your all, but THAT parent who is dealing with a child who clearly needs help too is the bad parent? Make no mistake, accusing a parent of being a bully who taught their child how to bully is A) calling them a bad parent and B) somewhat eerily similar to the judgmental ass who accosted you and your child in public with glares and comments.
Let’s not get off topic, the problem here lies with the bully, which none of us have ever been or raised. How do we deal with bullies?
We should teach our kids how to stand up for themselves. I know, lets just punch our fucking problems away! We can break a cycle of cruelty by physical force, teaching people that they better watch out or violence. This is an awesome way to fix bullying. I can see nothing wrong with this at all. We will just tell them as a last resort, punch your problems away. We should talk about that.
I punch someone in the face, because they are a dick. That solves the problem? All punching people in the face whenever they upset me gave me was broken hands and a mean reputation. My first fight was justified, as were the countless fights after. When I felt that there was no other option than to rain down some sweet physical justice on someone because they upset me and it was my last resort. The line between right and wrong wasn’t blurred, because I only punched bullies. No, I wasn’t the bullies bully, that is nonsense, I was in the right!
Bullies don’t go away, they just get different names and positions of power. Kind of like my dick boss who makes me do all his work. I am sure our senior boss will understand if I punch him in the mouth because that is how you stand up to your problems. I can’t wait to go to work and judo-fucking-chop my boss, I really can’t. That is standing up for yourself 101, correct?
I wish I could talk to parents of bullies. There doesn’t seem to be any around, just a room filled with the victims of bullies and their children who also seem to be bully victims. Bully families must be taking this afternoon to go have a picnic and do some family bullying somewhere. There is no way anyone is in denial about raising a dick or at some point being a dick. Why would they do that? No one is afraid of being accused of bad parenting because their child who needs help brings glares and rude remarks from fellow parents,right?
“Daniel is a real bully, he must get it from his dad. Charlie punch him in the mouth if you have to.”
Instead of damning a family because of their child’s outbursts, we could try to open up lines of communication. And no, not by accusing them of being a bad parent or human being.
“Daniel is a dick, but Charlie can be a real asshole some days. What about we get together for lunch and make these kid’s play nice until the line blurs between playing and being. Let’s make a friendship here and drink some beers in the process.”
Maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t assume the family tree is made up of bullies and the best way to solve the problem is by roundhouse kicking our way down each branch! Eh, that sounds hard. Just punch your bully in the face and blame the parents for it, seems to be working out well.
Besides, no one here knows what to do if raising a bully anyways; all our collective knowledge and experience is in being a victim.