I swear once you clear away the cobwebs and dust there is a blog in here. It’s been a while, almost a whole month without anything to write. The party post was my greatest achievement as a “daddy blogger”. And because I put a lot of energy and excitement into it my creativity switch flipped to off. I’ve had blue balls of the brain, the dreaded writers block. I feel like the storm has lifted, I’m back bitches!
Kids can be tough to raise because there are so many factors that have to be taken into account every single fucking day. One slip up or “enablement” can set the course to weeks of bad behavior and “snotty twat syndrome” (medical terminology) I don’t think people ever really warn about that aspect. You see enablement and judge it. I know I did. I would see a child being enabled and would think to myself “I would never do that, my kids won’t pull that shit with me”.
What you don’t see is the parent that has been working fifty hour weeks, has unpaid bills, only got three hours of sleep and has drank their weight in coffee. We don’t see or get told much about the breaking point that as a parent you can be at for what seems like eternity. No parent wants to raise a twat. When my kids were born i promised to raise young gentleman who accepted all sorts of people and lived with love, not little twats that throw dirt in the poor kids watermelon as he ate it on the sidewalk (fuck you brad, if I ever see you again I’m going to kick the shit out of you. I was four, you were seven and suffered from severe twat syndrome)
Anyways, breaking points…enabling children….we all do it. It’s not easy to admit but today my kid was throwing a tantrum, his third of the day. I didn’t sleep well yesterday, I was worn out, annoyed because naps have been failing and wanted peace. I have never stuffed a kids face with chocolate so badly. I knew it was wrong but I also knew I might start banging my head against the wall of I didn’t get that moment of peace.
Does that make me a bad parent? No it doesn’t. It makes me a real parent. This whole process, this journey, is a learning process whether it’s your first or fifth kid. We are raising individuals who like different things, no one child is the exact same as another, even twins. Mistakes happen, enabling occurs, we as parents have a right to sometimes feel helpless and make mistakes. Acting on enabling is a step back, but it shouldn’t be a failure.
Will it happen again? It’s possible. No it’s probable. It’s definite. As long as it isn’t a constant, the mistakes we make are small lessons that will make us better as we continue the insane journey called parenthood. You aren’t a bad parent for faltering. And I want to personally admit I enable from time to time, I’m not proud of it but it gets done. Fuck anyone who pretends to have this whole thing down and under control, because some of the greatest parents I have come to meet and learn from did their best and most of the time that was “fake it till you make it”
Now that the dust has been swept and the floors mopped it doesn’t look that bad in here. Might be space for some more blogs in that corner over there. This place is cozy and comfy! What’s that? You’ve left…okay I’ll stop writing but thanks for reading!