Everyone knows how to parent but you

The wonderful thing about joining the ranks of parenting is the amount of free advice you get. I mean what is better than people you don’t fucking know telling you the intricate secrets of success that have helped them raise the fine kid laying on the floor in the middle of the supermarket thrashing around and crying for a new toy? Okay that might be a little harsh, they took the time away from leash walking their child to tell you how to raise your unborn successor. Well youre in luck because I have amassed so much advice from parents who don’t even have twins on how to raise mine, how to dress them, how to treat them, and how to tell them apart. I have carefully combed over all the nuggets of wisdom I have learned from my In Laws, Friends without kids, and random strangers and have created a wonderful piece of advice.

No one will know how to raise your kid but you, and around 90% of the advice you receive is horse shit that won’t work. Everybody is different. The best thing you can do is look at how others parents and how their kids act. Hmm that kid is a precocious little twat, maybe I don’t want my child to act like that so I’m going to stay away from doing the parenting I see you do. Wow what a handsome little psycho you have there, has he started collecting animal skulls and lighting things on fire yet? Yeah I’m gonna take your advice and file it under how to raise the next Manson.

By no means is parenting easy, but it is something that differs from each child and there is no book out there that will tell you how to raise the perfect kid. You should accept all advice with a grain of salt. I read countless books on how to raise my children and most of the information has never applied to my children. Take little pieces of what you learn, apply it and see the end results. Parenting takes you back to science class. Develop your hypothesis, apply it to your child and review your results. You shouldn’t ever stick with parenting that isn’t custom fit to your child.

My children are not angels by any means, but they are pretty good kids. I’m raising individuals who yes are twins but have complete separate aspirations and entertainment. Because they are such different people I parent them as such. Killian can hear you say no and stop fucking up. Nicolas, also known as ‘Ridiculous Nicolas’ needs to be diverted to a new activity because ‘No’ doesn’t work, timeout doesn’t work, and a hand slap will make him laugh in your face. Get that little asshole into a new activity and he will stop being such a prick. Is it foolproof? No, but it has a higher success rate than smashing my head into a wall while he destroys my stuff.

Parent your kid the way works best for your child and you, not what satisfies the people around you and their ‘amazing’ advice’. I believe parenting should be an enjoyable experience for the parent just as much as the kid. That doesn’t say let your kid name himself and eat thirty packets of ketchup, it just means try and raise your child in a happy custom structured environment where your kid doesn’t start burning things or flailing on the ground when they don’t get their way.

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