No sick days in ParentLife

There ain’t no rest for the wicked. Apparently neither is there for the parent! I sat my kids down and out serious dad face on and told them papa was sick and they would need to hold me until I got better… You know like I do for them! Well needless to say the result was amazing they immediately took their normal routine of tyranny and cranked the asshole meter up past 11.

Thanks for being understanding children! The world doesn’t stop and wait for you to feel better, life goes on and bills continue being due, why would raising children be any different?! So as I sit here with enough medication to kill whatever is trying to kill me I came to a realization. As parents we will literally do anything for someone who is a fraction of our size. No amount of medicine in the world can give you the satisfaction of making your child happy.

And that is some cool shit! I mean love and yadda yadda but this bond you build with your offspring is so beautiful and powerful. Do we ever really know what love is before the moment we feel it with our child? I think we have a clue but no grasp of the magnitude love can truly reach. Maybe there is a reason we affectionately call our significant others babe and baby? Hmm deep thinking right there.

The love we feel as a parent makes us crazy! Wake up at four in the morning the day after thanksgiving to have a battle royale at walmart love. For a hunk of fucking plastic that we know will light our child’s face up! To trample other parents for a forty dollar toy that’s only significance to us is the joy it will bring our kid.

I’m not saying I have trampled another parent trying to get a toy for my kids but I am warning everyone to stay away from the Mickey Mouse toys this Black Friday if you see Punk Rock Papa on his way down the aisle. Just drop the toy and walk away without harm.

Parenting is great because you never realize what true love is before becoming a parent do you. I have never met someone told them I loved them and wiped their ass as they peed on me. Maybe I haven’t found ‘the one’ and my string of failed relationships is because my partner never peed on me on the first date. Is that the secret to happiness? I’ve never gone days without sleep doting over whether I swaddled my significant other correctly or if they might need some food at four in the morning. I can’t break up with my children because they spent the week screaming in my face, I can only tiredly smile and try and coax a smile across that little face.

Being a parent teaches you about the depth of love in a way no other human connection can. It’s the reason I’m popping antihistamines like skittles and giving piggy back rides this morning.


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3 comments on “No sick days in ParentLife
  1. Brandon once stole a stuffed Barney out of someone’s cart 2 days before Chrismas. He paid for it, it wasn’t really theft but there were no more left on the shelf. I was scared of getting yelled at but he was the hero.

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