Origin stories; this is how we do

“How do you do it?”
The question everyone asks. People are in such wonder of twins and how could you possibly raise both of them!
“It’s all we have ever known, we don’t know how to raise one, we have always had both of them”.
A simple enough response, but the cloud of mystery on an inquisitive face instantly vanishes. It’s all they have ever known, of course! This is usually followed by a “oh bless you!” Or other phrase insinuating saintly parenting. Sister Serendip might draw some similarities there. So here it is, about a month out from having a “singleton” I pause to reflect on “how I do it”

When you mix Jose Cuervo, a beach ironically named Pleasure Beach, and unprotected sex you are pretty much taunting the powers that be into gifting you with offspring. Now I’m not a learned doctor but combining those three things to me seems more effective than fertility treatments. On said night we had been out at our friends Matt and Noah’s playing cards, having a blast. As the night wound down Diana and I decided to end the night at our favorite beach. On thing led to another and we were twenty yards out on a floating platform recreating what I feel is probably the start to ninety percent of slasher films. Two drunk kids having sex in the middle of the nowhere. while Jason Vorhees didn’t surprise us at climax another surprise certainly occurred.

Flash forward six weeks, three fights, and one box of pregnancy tests we found out we were expecting. A week later we found out it was “double trouble” I remember when the ultrasound technician said ” Oh, there’s two in there”
“No we only asked you to find one”. I responded in shock and disbelief. There it was, Killian and Nicolas, baby “A” and baby “B”.

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…holy shit…

For people not familiar with two aliens growing in a body, multiples don’t enjoy staying full term. Our boys weren’t any different. On March 30th, 2013 the wife wasn’t feeling top notch. It turns out she had developed a form of preeclampsia known as HELLP syndrome, Google it, shit is scary. With her blood pressure skyrocketing the doctors were forced to do an emergency c-section.

Did I mention this was apparently the one day of the year our OBGYN was out of town. I was living the movie knocked up. So I’m in a room with my drugged up wife while some dude I’ve never met uses a medical tool set I assume he bought from a Dexter memorabilia site. At 10:05 I heard Killian for the first time, at 10:07 Nicolas. As I tried not to faint while cutting umbilical cords (no one told me it would squirt blood at me! The whole cutting of the umbilical cords could be a blog-novel itself) something else was occurring.

My wife had become unresponsive. As monitors began to beep alarmingly I looked around confused but completely knowing what was going on. Now everyone is covered head to toe in scrubs and protective wear. Their eyes though, I can see the worry in them. Still reeling from the umbilical cord debacle of a minute prior I was already faint and woozy, everything was tunnel vision. The anesthesiologist and a nurse immediately tried to usher me out to see my newborns. I loved my kids from the moment we found out about them, but I wasn’t going to leave my wife’s side.

Sitting there watching your wife slip away is a surreal experience. It was only a matter of minutes but I spent an eternity staring at her expressionless face. What was I going to do? How would I survive? Diana has always been the calm to my storm. As my insides rage her anchor kept me from going adrift. To lose her, the thought of it even was incomprehensible. All of a sudden it was too real. As future birthdays and anniversaries flashed through my mind without, something inside Diana sparked. She began to stabilize and come back to me. When her eyes fluttered open a collective sigh of relief was exhaled by doctors, nurses and myself. When I knew she was ok I could focus on being a new father.

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A few days in ICU for the wife, a week and a half in NICU for the boys and finally my family was home and exhausted but whole. Diana was on bed rest, I was all too happy to take care of the boys though. Schedules were set, responsibilities divided and we began our adventure.

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It seems eons ago that I watched my wife die and faced the possibility of being alone in this world with my boys. That brief moment lasted an eternity. Fortunately for our family it was only a moment. My boys are blessed with two loving parents but for that brief window, I was a widowed father of twins. Mentally I have lived that life, it was very real to me.

“How do you do it?”

The question is so loaded, usually the person asking it doesn’t even realize.

“It’s all we have ever known”

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13 comments on “Origin stories; this is how we do
  1. I love following your Facebook posts, but this is the first of your blog posts I’ve read. Awesome stuff!
    While we don’t have twins, our son was in the NICU for a week after birth. All I remember is the exhaustion and washing my hands and forearms for what seemed like hours at a giant stainless steel sink.

  2. How do you do it? Lol. Just kidding!

    I think you’re an awesome father the stories you tell make me laugh so hard. Your wife is amazing for being able to handle you AND the boys 😉

    Such a sweet story, you got my feels going.

  3. One of my biggest fears was losing my wife during delivery, and being a single father of twins. It’s frightening! As far as like with multiples, I get asked that question a lot..but it’s all I know. Sometimes I think about if I only had one child, and how easy it would be, and cringe when I hear people say “…I have a baby….and it’s so hard…”. I just want to smack them! Great post from one twin father to another!

    • Thanks for reading! I think its all I know is a relatively standard response from us parents of multiples. I dont know how to raise a single child so its something that never crosses my mind lol.

  4. Pingback: Flashbacks | Punk Rock Papa

  5. I get asked this question all the time. The difference being, the twins came after my singletons. More often then not, it’s more like, what were you thinking. We wanted more kids. So we hit up a BOGO sale. 🙂

    e spent 27 days in the NICU, while s spent 37 days in the NICU. They were 32 weekers. Fun times. We will just leave it at that lol.

    Now that there are 6 of them, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Nor do I think I would know what to do with myself. The baby just went into pre-school. And I am bored out of my mind when I am home alone.

    • Nicolas spent a week and a half in the NICU while his brother spent two weeks and that was intense enough for me! We are having our third and final one here soon 🙂

      Thanks for sharing and for reading!

  6. I’ve been following your FB pages for a few weeks with tons of giggles and sometimes the full belly laugh 🙂 Today was the first time I read the blog, and started from the most recent down. Just read about “OMG you have twins how do you do it” not having twins myself (my kids are 16 and 20) but I’ve been an in home childcare provider for almost 12 years, so I TOTALLY know what you mean!! You should see the looks I get if I decide to run to the store and have 4+ all different ages, lol…. The 2 girls I watch right now are only 6 weeks apart and I’ve had them both since they were born and have them anywhere from 8-10 hours a day. I think it might be pretty close to twins 🙂 and let me tell you they give me a run for my money. And I’ve never seen 2 kids act the way they do. Some days they love each other so much and will hardly let anyone else in their circle, then other days I feel like I am the ref

    • Man it cut me off 🙁 as I was saying other days I feel like I’m the ref for mini WWF wrestling in my house!! It’s just crazy, please tell me I’m not the only one, lol….
      Congrats on your new little guy. Feeling a little bad for your wife as she’s a little out numbered 😀
      Thanks for sharing your life and family with us strangers, and for all the laughs on sometime dreary crap days!!!

  7. Pingback: How do you do it? A story of becoming a father to twins | Original Bunker Punks

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