Pass the Torch

I talk a lot about parenting. Almost too much I am sure some would say. I love it though, so why not be all about it. Parenting should be fun! Not just for the child, but for the parent too. How can you raise something up with anything but love? I don’t see it as possible. I think as parents we get too worried about the fine line between being a parent and being a friend. No one goes into parenting with the hopes to screw up their kid indefinitely. At the same time, no one wants to be the bad or mean parent. Sure, over time some of us have accepted a more disciplinary figure role. We still want our kids to love and accept us. As we should love and accept them. Unconditionally.

Parenting should be passing the torch. You take that fire that burns inside you for whatever reason and you give a little ember of it to your children. Through gentle guidance and accepting that you can’t absolutely control the way the flame burns you start a fire in their soul. All we should ever want as parents is to provide kindle for that fire. Stoke it. Love it. Care for it. How else can you raise a loving and compassionate person without passing love into their heart.

From children we can draw so much. There is so much our kids can teach us! About purity. Children don’t see the greys that ruin love. There is no level of complexity in feelings and emotions to them. Their emotions, at a young age, remain unbridled and beautiful. If you ever want to see joy, watch your child play a game. Take from that. Want to see love? Watch how your child interacts with their other parent, and emulate that sort of pure form of love. Emotions in their purest form are wild, scary, and, above all else, exhilarating.

We are blessed, us parents. We have spent all of our lives gathering and gaining new experience and have a chance to shape and mold the future. We have studied our own parents, saying things like “When I have kids, I will NEVER do that”. There have been the growing pains, the mess ups, the lies, the lust, the love and the heart breaks. Our stories are How to and How Not To guides for our children. Every trick in the book and every “right” way to handle a situation. Our kids are not going to pull fast ones on us! And our kids, yeah they are gonna get that love and affection in the time they need it.

What about the mess ups? The days we feel like asses and subpar? Those are the days WE learn from. The days we will talk with out kids about when they call late at night at wits end. “You used to do that same thing, hahaha, we would just ignore you and you hated us for it! It gets better sweetie don’t you worry.” Our lives have been up to even this moment right here, a training and preparation to pass the torch of humanity onto our children. Parenting shouldn’t just be fun, it should be beautiful. For when you think about it, it is nothing short of breathtaking.

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5 comments on “Pass the Torch
  1. You always have such a beautifully spirited way of describing the connection with your kids. I completely agree. But I must warn you…as a former “got away with everything” badass…they WILL get a few things over on dear ol’ papa, (yes, my own kids have pulled a few fast ones). But they will be some of the things that you subconsciously close your eyes to, because you know they NEED to feel that “triumph over my parents”. Your kids are infinitely blessed:)

  2. ‘From children we can draw so much. There is so much our kids can teach us! About purity. Children don’t see the greys that ruin love. There is no level of complexity in feelings and emotions to them.’

    Briton, you literally brought tears to my eyes at that point.

    Beautifully written. Thank you.
    Sandy recently posted…That Was Then, This Is NowMy Profile

  3. I love that part about nurturing the flame not being able to control the way it burns. Great analogy and so true. Sometimes I forget that it’s not my responsibility to do and be everything for my son–he has to learn to figure things out on his own. With my guidance and support, of course, but not me telling him exactly the way to do things at every turn.
    Melissa Mowry recently posted…Giveaway: Make Your Mother’s Day Wishes Come TrueMy Profile

  4. Oh, Papa! This is so frickin’ beautiful!!! WOW! The love for your babies oozes right out in this post. One of the things I have always taught my kids by example, is to apologize and to admit when wrong. I think they appreciate it when I say, “I am sorry, I was wrong.” It really encourages them to do the same. Parenting is the best hardest thing anyone can ever do! 🙂
    brickhousechick recently posted…Something Is Broken, Something Is Wrong: A Mother’s FearMy Profile

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