Product Review- Deluxe Twins Set: Boys Edition

When I unknowingly decided to impregnate my wife I didn’t realize it would result in me being blessed with the deluxe two for one tyrant special. The double trouble gift set has certainly been one of the more expensive things I’ve had. So I have decided to give anyone looking into the possibility of raising twins what I believe is an accurate list of pros and cons. This is my product review of the deluxe twins set: boys edition.

Pros-
-Having twins means that, for most, you have already created most of your family! This is great because for the price of one pregnancy you end up with double the results. Going by my personal model of a three child family I am already two thirds of the way to my vasectomy! Having your kids in twos is a sure fire way to build that family of your dreams in little to no time!

-Twins are an immediate +20 family cuteness factor. Literally everyone wants to stop and gawk at the fact that two kids can be siblings and identical in age. If you opt for the twins that look alike package you might as well add +30 to the cuteness and +40 minutes to any trip to the store because you will constantly be stopped. Any gamers out there? This is the equivalent of grinding for that super rare sword to slay the dragon with, if the dragon was middle aged women at the supermarket and the sword was double edged adorableness, ya geek!

-Everyone seems to put parents of multiples on a pedestal. Thanks to Jon and Kate’s surge to fame parents of multiples are now seen as godsends of parents*. Why is this a perk? Everyone wants to give you a hand. Babysitting is pretty much free at this point because people want to help out the hard at work twin moms and dads. I will play the exhausted parent card constantly, maybe add a little bit of a staggered foot as if you haven’t recovered from two people holding onto your leg 24/7.

* I have never seen Jon and Kate plus however many kids they destined for years of therapy.

– Twincessories! Oh man, the strollers for twins are GIGANTIC! Makes for great bumper cars through the mall. As a person with personal space issues having a five foot stroller buffer zone in front of me is beautiful as I wade through the masses making their way to the food court. I like to use the front of my stroller to “accidentally” smash into the back of people’s legs. It’s quite fun and I can always blame the stroller. Take that lady yelling on your Bluetooth, fall down!

– As an added bonus, some find it appealing to dress their twins like thing one and thing two. While I never got caught up in that craze I can understand the enjoyment of further wowing passerby’s into a sort of twinstruck dumbfoundedness.

Cons-
– Believe it or not, growing two people inside of a woman’s below is not fun for the pregnant nor the impregnator. As my pregnant partner got to have her uterus transformed into a cage fighting event I could slowly feel hatred building for me. “I can make twins with my penis!” Becomes less amusing the more you say it excitedly to strangers. Well, it did to my wife at least.

– Apparently you have to feed both child A and child B. This was news for me I didn’t realize we would be going through so much fifty dollar cans of powder. I have heard of a formula black market, so I guess if you go the shady way this isn’t as much of an issue. Just make sure your Similac is grade A and the dealer didn’t cut it with some generic crap. I would hate to break the kneecaps of some poor formula pusher who thought he could pull a fast one and stomp my product.

– Twins have a tendency to move in opposite directions. It’s almost as if they are like magnets with the same poles, constantly propelling each other into different rooms. This problem could be remedied with some leash product I assume but I haven’t found the best leash baby system yet so I’m stuck trying to turn into that stretch guy from fantastic four.

– Any sickness spreads like a rampant epidemic. I know it’s bad taste to joke about Ebola, so I’ll try my best to abstain. I’ll leave it at this; I call the CDC for quarantine tips during flu season.

In summation, I would give the deluxe twin set: boys edition a solid 8/10 score. While some days are harder than others I do enjoy most of the pros of twinsanity. Some of the cons I’m sure can be remedied if I took the time to get leash baby items, a good formula dealer and a proper quarantine area. All in all I would recommend the twin set to anyone looking to quick build their family and smash a gigantic limo stroller into people during the holidays.

Do you have children? What’s their product review?

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14 comments on “Product Review- Deluxe Twins Set: Boys Edition
  1. “Double edged sword of adorableness” has to be my favorite line ever! The pros and cons of children should be a consumer report! Give childless people a fair warning! Enjoyed this.

  2. I loved this blog so much! I’ve always been curious about twins as I have a set in my family tree. I wasn’t so curious when I found out the older you are as a parent to be that twins are a possibility. I’ve been blessed with my sons, and an age gap from the two. The oldest is very responsible and the youngest tests those limits of that responsibility. He feels more like two, but there’s just more about him to love. I will give my kids a 7/10 on the product review because one has sleep apnea (and I survive on vapours of sleep ) and they don’t sleep in (unless they’re sick) and the must eat all the time, while I’m surviving on granola bars and yogurt here. They get a solid 10/10 on the days I get more than 3 hours of sleep, copious amounts of food, no snarky attitude, and abundant hugs and kisses.

  3. Loved the blog. I have two that could have been twins, and when they were small, to me they were, especially when they were in diapers. The fact this was a blog on a review of your kids was great! I literally thought it was a product review. I guess it was, an original copy! LOL

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