Somewhere along the journey that is parenting I gained an abundance of this. I didn’t ask, it just kept piling up. Someone somewhere slipped it in a bag. Or attached it to a present. Some even openly gave it to me. Without asking. It just appeared. At one point I thought it was the product of witchcraft. How else could this continue multiplying in my house?
Of course I am talking about the book Goodnight Moon.
I have no idea how I got so many damn copies of this book! In the little over two years of parenthood I swear I have gotten a good fifteen copies of this book. A virtually indestructible chunk of mystery that everyone gives you once you become a parent. It is literally the fruitcake of the parenting world.
And I mean indestructible. One copy of Goodnight Moon was used to replace an old bone for our dog. It is still in pretty pristine condition. I think the dog gave up on it after a year of chewing.
My kids managed to tear one apart. After drowning it, slamming it against the ground, biting it, Hell I think one stole a lighter and lit it on fire. Stopping just short of shooting it and dumping it in the Niva River. The next day,
Rasputin Goodnight Moon had multiplied into two copies that were waiting for me outside my bedroom door.
I am surprised there hasn’t been a horror story based loosely on Goodnight Moon. Or has there been?
Is the fabled Necronomicon really just the first ever copy of Goodnight Moon?
Look, I am not knocking the book. It is sort of cute. The first dozen or so times I read it to my kids in the hospital, where I received my first two copies, were fond memories. Even when my third was in the hospital, I disdainfully picked up the book and read it to him.
The book holds a special place in my heart. In the back. Next to memories I try daily to repress.
But I can’t repress Goodnight Moon because it keeps reappearing and multiplying in my house.
Even when I hide it in the furthest corner of a box and place that box in the darkest corner of the closet.
It continues to appear. Shiny and scary. Demanding to be read. Refusing to leave. Goodnight Moon is like that friend that has overstayed their welcome and has no intentions of leaving anytime soon.
I feel like maybe the author of Goodnight Moon (clearly Cthulhu) has ensured this book will never leave my life.
It is The Gift That’s Never Leaving.