Isn’t it a little fucked up that Kelso is making the most sense in the world these days?
Diaper changing stations in the men’s bathroom. Mind-fucking-blown. Seriously though, the fact that this is an issue bothers me. Why? Because men’s bathrooms should already have diaper stations! This should be a non-issue because public restroom interior designer Brad ( I need to attach a name and title to the person I am bitching about, so as not to feel like I am shouting at a bathroom) should have put them diaper stations in when he built the fucking bathroom. But nooo, he wanted to add the fancy hand dryers that nobody likes. If you like the hand dryers just know this, one time my friend walked in on a homeless man shoving his dick into one of those. And it wasn’t because he needed to dry his dick off.
I know, I am a little late to this trending topic. About as late as Brad is to installing those flip down tables. I actually fought with myself over even writing about this subject. Personally, without having those tables in the men’s room I don’t have to change diapers. Who likes changing diapers? Who woke up this morning and was just PUMPED to change a child’s diaper while said child flails around, possibly sending fecal debris flying onto walls or worse. With the lack of a proper place to change the children, I get out of diaper duty in public. I will admit to liking that. While championing diaper stations in all restrooms I lose my get out of diaper changing card. It is a tough one, but I love my wife and am willing to help change diapers in public for her sake. D’awwwww.
I know I have gone a little Lewis Black in this post. I mean, It’s goddamn changing tables! The ones I have seen are sometimes in the handicap stall unassuming on the wall! Why was it too hard for Brad to throw up one there before smiling at his fucking (literally) hand dryers? What the fuck Brad? Now Kelso is pissed off and the dads who have been championing this issue for years begrudgingly line up behind him, all the while muttering “I posted that first, screw you Kelso”. Way to go Brad. Way. To. Go.
Before I back to ranting about a place to clean up my son, can we get into how a celebrity created this buzz over a social media post? That’s what the Amazon Family campaign needs. I wonder if we can keep Kelso on retainer as our champion Achilles to further change the landscape of parenting and do away with some more gender bias. It’s just a thought! Brad Pitt has about forty kids running around, he might give some dad causes a good discount to drop a tweet. It is just a suggestion. A good suggestion in my opinion.
Okay, back from my spiral off. Where was I? Ahhhhh, Brad. Not Brad Pitt, Brad public restroom interior designer. Listen dude, go buy some fold up tables and put them in the fucking guy’s bathrooms. I am being nice about this! Don’t get my wife over here. She is rather tired of having to change all the diapers when we are out. By rather tired I mean she is standing over me with that glare she has mastered and baby poo smeared on her white shirt making sure I write this. Don’t get my wife involved, trust me.
And thanks Kelso. I am sorry I gave Jobs such a bad review on Rotten Tomatoes. Make a Dude, Where’s My Car Two with Stifler please.