Times They Are A Changin

How can a twenty-four year old struggle keeping up with the world? Well, when you factor in the forty plus hours I spend at work and couple it with my desire to be present for my kids- I am falling behind on all things hip. When I get free time I spend it writing about my kids or trying to keep the spark alive in my marriage. I don’t have time to keep up with a world that just keeps goddamn spinning. 

Trying to understand the latest in the greatest going on with the world has left much to be desired. According to the news every black person is a thug and all cops have a tendency to use lethal forces when not necessary. If you flip from the depressing state of affairs you can weigh in on what is appropriate or inappropriate for a female to wear and how men should not have any sexual drive towards revealing clothes. Flags, don’t even want to go down that path as there are those on both sides who fiercely oppose the opposite. Same-sex marriage is on its way to falling under the plain old marriage category while people busy themselves mud slinging in the name of beliefs. We live in 2015 and currently everything is a fiercely debated topic. The news is trending if only so people can sit and spew opinions as fact. There is no regard for their fellow man.

Sitting my kids down, I tell them all I have learned:

  • Blacks aren’t people, they are thugs.
  • Avoid cops, as your skin is a shade too different to not leave the encounter in a body bag.
  • Don’t be attracted to a woman in a revealing outfit.
  • Avoid women all together, because even a compliment can be construed as sexual harassment.
  • Hide the things that bring you pride under your bed.
  • The sanctity of marriage is NOW ruined, insanely high divorce rates hadn’t nailed that coffin shut long ago.
  • Expect the world to be unfair and people to embrace ignorance over human rights.
  • Keep your head down and your mouth shut, it will just be easier this way.

Look at how easily out of hand things can get and how, thanks to the internet, things are permanent. I find myself more ill prepared to raise children than ever. What do we teach our kids? Teach them beliefs and a system of rights and wrongs that will eventually get them flogged in the court of public opinion?

It is far too easy to just say, “teach them to be accepting and not judgmental”. This world is nothing if not full of one party of people not accepting and judging another party of people.

Growing up, I bought into the belief that the American Dream was real. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Those words, they resonated with me. I truly believed this world, and what was done in it, was up to me. Fantasies of “making it” flew through my head.

I look back at the trust I held in that message. That life is what you make of it. I needed to believe in it as a truth. It needs to be real.

When looking at my kids, I have to have conviction when I tell them, “You can be anything you want to be.”

All children deserve to grow up with that mentality.

It is why I write.

Write free, Motherfucker. I write with passion and throw myself behind my words. Someday I hope to have something to show my kids. My own little published slice of the American Dream.

We have to believe that this world is a place that can be changed for the good. For our kids’ sake, the world needs to be a place where any and every person can carve out their own piece of happy.

And so, I sit her, unprepared to raise kids in a world that is just dead set on beating them down.

I write, in hopes to prove the American Dream is alive and well for my children’s sake.

I tell my kids, with conviction, that they can grow up to be happy and make it on their own terms. They just need to stand tall in the face of adversity. The world is theirs to shape and mold. Getting knocked down is just a chance to get back up.

I say every cliché I know as self-evident truths. Even when the world doesn’t make sense, it is their world to change as they see fit. Nothing can bar them. No obstacle stands in the way that can’t be overcome.

I teach my kids to believe in themselves just as much as I believe in them. Then I hope it is enough for them to tackle the world.

Times they are a changin’, and they don’t have to always be for the worse.

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4 comments on “Times They Are A Changin
  1. I too struggle with what and how to explain things to my own kids in such a contradictory world. It’s tough being a parent today and so confusing for our kids today 🙁

  2. Most of us start off believing. Believing in the ideal that we have formed in our heads or that others have told us exist. Then life hardens us and we feel betrayed and lied to. We are disappointed by what is and how unfair it all seems. Once we realize how tough life can really be, that’s when we need to hold on to hope that good will prevail. It makes us work harder to make things the way we think they should be. We no longer think the world owes us but rather, that we need to make the changes we want in order to reach our happiness regardless of the negativity around us. It’s a tough balance but as long as we are self-aware, it will happen.

    Awesome writing, Briton. It’s so scary knowing that you are responsible for the lives of these babes that depend on you for everything. You are doing all the right things and some that may not be so right – but that is ok. The most important thing to pass on to your children (I believe) is tolerance and kindness. xo
    brickhousechick recently posted…Why I Love Gay MenMy Profile

  3. We raise them to be the change, Briton. It is their generation to make or break. Keep doing what you’re doing. SHOW them, don’t tell them. I mean, DO tell them, but I have found that kids learn what they see more often than what they hear. (Some days I say, God forbid.) Even if you had the holy grail of parenting in your hot little hands, there are no guarantees. Do the best you can. They’ll see that. And they’ll know.
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