Toddler Games

The new toddler trend in my house is counting. It is really exciting to hear my sons go “One, two, Tree, pho”! I am not even being sarcastic, I love hearing them count! I am sure after the excitement wears off I will be plotting ways to kill The Count from Sesame Street. Currently though, it is adorable.

Why am I telling you about my boys’ new found ability to count? Well, the other day Killian was doing something he wasn’t supposed to. If I can remember correctly, he had just taken a toy from his brother and had no intention of doing the right thing, like giving the toy back to his screaming and pissed off brother. So, in my best parenting voice I gave him the count.

You know the count right? The “you have three seconds to do the right thing or I will swoop in with some parental discipline and nobody will be happy when I am done” count. Well, as I masked my general annoyance over having to deal with the hundredth sharing problem of the day, I said to Killian in my dad voice, “ Killian, I am going to give you until the count of three to give that toy back to your brother.”

Angry cries from Nicolas, total lack of acknowledgement from Killian. As Nicolas looked at me waiting for me to swoop in and defuse the situation, I began my count.

“Okay. ONE!



Before I could get to the next number, Killian shoots up and shouts  “TWO!” while jamming his fingers into the air. Now, He could have been putting up two fingers to correlate with saying two, but I don’t think so. He and his brother haven’t quite mastered the fingers to go along with the counting. So here he was, after exclaiming two, with his two fingers in the air. His index finger and middle finger were tightly together while his thumb rested over his ring finger and pinky.

The kid was giving me his version of  the F@&$ing symbol from the Hunger Games. Yes, I know they hold up three fingers, but I would recognize a sign of rebellion from my district and this two year old was in direct defiance of President Papa!

What do you do when your son goes all Mockingjay on you during a parental count off? I couldn’t be mad, it was too adorable. As Nicolas rose up next to his rebellious brother, equally excited to join a rebellion and completely forgetting the stolen toy, two fingers jolted up into the sky.


So here I was, full on toddler rebellion. The boys kept pumping their signs of rebellion into the air, chanting two, looking at me. The odds were not in my favor.


Anyways, when I go missing for a few days and I am found bound and gagged in my room- It was Killian Everdeen and Nicolas Mellark who are to blame.

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4 comments on “Toddler Games
  1. Squash the rebellion! Stop feeding them! Then they won’t have the energy to raise their voices, much less a finger.

    This is one of the funniest ones you’ve written. xo

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